Start resolving your own shit. Yea, I said it.
Get therapy. Find support groups. Get a mentor.
Even though this sounds corny- read self-help/personal development books. Stop pretending that you’re “fine.”
We live our lives and make choices through old traumas and stories. These stories play on auto-loop in our heads. And this will inevitably play out in how we father our sons and daughter.
“What you do in anything is what you do in everything.”
YOU are still YOU in every room you step in. I’m not suggesting that you are not a good person. Only you know that; now be honest with yourself.
It’s time for radical self-awareness.
The surest way to BE a better dad is to deal with this shit. You will find yourself magically BEING a better father to your children.
(Waves wand in a circular motion)
You don’t need any magical tactics or tricks to get your children to follow instructions and respect you.
Become a better human being by dropping off some of that generational trauma you were handed in your childhood.
Your relationships with EVERYONE will improve, not just your kids.
People at work won’t recognize you. Your partner will wonder why you’re less argumentive. Even your puppy will be confused but thankful.
Sometimes, becoming a father to itty-bitty, big-eyed, clueless creatures is the trigger we need to get the help we’ve always needed.
Our parents did the best they could. We can do better.
The worst thing you can do is hand that same baggage to carry for another generation.
Take care of your shit. It’s not easy work, but it’s good work.