The song was almost over.
I was having a sweet dance with Anastacia, my youngest daughter. Somewhere in that dance, something broke open. When the song ended I kissed her, then went looking for a dark corner to let the tears flow.
I allowed myself to break down.
The love, the connection, the appreciation. It had been too much. I needed to let myself feel it.
I deserved this. The kind of high that only comes from being fully present in a moment your whole life was building toward.
There was nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide. Over 100 people in a big open space.
I tried to sneak away anyway. A couple of folks caught me.
*”I am goooood. More than good. I am great”*
They worried anyway.
“Please give me a minute. I’m ok. I’ll be back.”
Maybe it was the drinks. But I really was good… I wanted to sit with in moment. I was overstimulated.
My baby girl was married. All these people were here for them. The ones who were supposed to be here… were here.
My family showed up.
People who a few months ago would not have been present. They were here. Healing, in real time. Across the room, her mother and her family. Twenty years later, and everybody came correct.
Between the bookends of both sides, the humans who created my Fe and the humans who chose her, Fe did something I did not see coming. She had her guests repeat her vows back to her. Every word. Both sides of that room, out loud, together. I watched that happen. I stood there and felt it land on the bride and groom.
She earned that. They earned that.
That’s love.
Then her sister spoke.
Anastacia got up there and I don’t think any of us knew what was coming. She may have been nervous. But she had that room. Every word landed. You could hear it — the quiet shift, then the sobbing. Especially the women.
The ones who knew exactly what it means to be a sister, to fight with one, to love one anyway, to stand up and say it out loud in front of everybody.
What people didn’t know is that these two grew up on stages. Fe and Anastacia were raised on spoken word. Little girls learning how to make a room feel something with nothing but their voice and the truth. Anastacia didn’t just give a speech. She delivered. And Fe, sitting there as the bride, knew exactly what was happening. She knew what her sister was capable of. She felt every word because she knew where it came from.
That’s what they were trained for. And that was the moment it all showed.
The night was loud with love for the human my little Fe has become. I’m crying now as I write these words.
How can any human not feel the overflow of emotions?
They gave her father something I had quietly been starving for. Knowing they were living full, happy lives had always been enough. But not that night. That night it was all there. All of it. For me too.
This is why I had to walk away. I wasn’t broken. I was overflowing.
I’m a happy little man.
Cheers to Fe.
Cheers to Cesar.
Cheers to my little homie Ezra.
*Los quiero chingos,*
Dad
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