Years ago, I had a friend ask me at dinner: “You’ve only been sitting for 2 minutes, and you already chose your meal. WTF! How?”
It was late. I was tired and hungry. We had just wrapped up a full day of training at a dance festival. I had no energy to waste.
As far memory serves me, Jay was my first friend.
We bonded by throwing rocks at each other from across the street. I’m not sure who threw the rocks first, but it had to be him. I wasn’t that bold.
Jay was a cool kid. I was happy to be his friend.
(I recently realized he was basically my big brother.)
He taught me how to ride a bike, play basketball, and practice my English. I learned how to take a hit when we played tackle football. He was always trying to make me cry by hitting the snot out of me.
The girls loved him too. He was handsome and had an air of confidence about him that I wish I had. I was his biggest fan and wanted to be like him.
In many ways, he helped me discover the new world.
Life took our lives in different directions when we got older. We stayed in touch for a few more years, and POOF- we lost contact.
I tried to call. I emailed. I visited his parent’s house.
Then it struck me.
What if he doesn’t want to be friends anymore, you big dummy? Hasn’t he made it obvious? It’s been 15 years since we last spoke. Maybe I should take the hint, right?
Growing up, I had the idea that friends were forever.
I’m sure I saw that in a Saturday morning cartoon at some point and believed it to be true. I’ve since learned that few friendships are meant to last a lifetime. I guess I held out on the idea that it would be different for childhood friends.
Jay taught me a lot in our adventures together, and I will be eternally grateful for that.
I’m glad he let me pretend to be his little brother.
“Simple,” I told her, “I just picked the first thing that looked delicious. And voila.”
“I wish I could do that,” she murmured under her breath as she stared at the menu.
“Sure you can. Just choose. It’s all good food, that’s why we chose this place. It’s not worth all the energy to THINK about it. There’s no need to make it complicated, and there’s not a better choice.”
“Nope, can’t do it.”
“Do you have it narrowed down to least a few options?”
“Yes, right here.” She then points to the menu in 3 spots.
I closed my eyes, circled my finger around the menu, then slammed it down.
She shouted,” I guess that’s what I’m eating tonight!”
To my surprise, she ordered exactly what my finger picked. Now I was a little nervous. She was a bit high-strung and very particular about things.
So I asked, “How was it?”
“It was so amazing, thank you. I’ll try to be more decisive in the future.”
I’ve found that she is normal. People spend way too much time thinking, pondering, researching, strategizing, and putting off decisions. Most of the time, it’s not even worth the energy, like at this dinner.
Often, we’ve done the research and narrowed it down to 2-3 options. Sometimes it’s a simple yes/no scenario.
Stop “thinking.” Make a choice already.
Inny, minny, miney, moe that mofo! Take the next step. Or flip a damn coin.