I’m coming up on 7 years since I quit my management job. 7 years! Holy shit!
This article hits so close to home that I almost feel that I could have written it. (If was better with the written word)
I had a couple of supportive girlfriends (not at the same time, that would just be scandalous) that always wondered where my mind was. Why couldn’t be present. They could tell my mind was in a million places even when they were right beside me in my arms or kissing.
Yet without them to remind me of my path, I don’t know where I would be today.
At times, I would break down and cry because I felt like the biggest failure in every aspect of my life.
But my family saw me less and less because driving to them at family functions became impossible since my hoopty (old term for clunker car…look it up) was breaking down and I couldn’t drive to them. If I risked car failure and drove to them, I felt shitty because I couldn’t bring their children gifts for their birthday parties. I hated to show up empty handed.
My poor mother worried about me so much it just broke my heart. She knew I was more than capable of having a job since I had never been without employment since I was 15.
One year, my baby sister had enough and brought the party to me for my birthday. She brought a handful of nephews and nieces. And my Mami.
It was a tearful moment.
Sleeping at 3-4am every night was quite normal for me. I had so many ideas I had to implement. But 90% of them didn’t make me any money. I had a disease call SOS (Shiny Object Syndrome)
Connecting with owner business owners through networking and social media began to give me stability and reminded me that this was just temporary pain and that I was not alone. SOS impacted all of us.
I was going to make it. I had to make it. Even if it kills me. Which seemed like a possibility.
Many times, I considered going back to work. But in my heart, I felt that I could make this work. I had something of value to give the world. I had a gift.
This I knew.
So, I sucked up. Tightened my belt another notch. Pushed harder. Shook hands. Developed life-long friendships. Developed skills that I now teach my daughters and anyone that is interested in learning.
And I’m happy.
Read the article that inspired this post.