He loved me. I love him. He tried. But he was wrong. And that’s ok.
I’ve struggled coming to terms with many of the scars, both internal and external, from my childhood.
I was disciplined and slapped around quite a bit.
During one of these disciplining sessions, my father slapped me on the side of the face and damaged my ear drum. I can’t put my head underwater. For this reason, you will never see me swim.
“I am not better for having been abused. I am who I am despite of what I endured.”
Now as a father I choose not to continue this legacy because I believe there are much more effective ways to teach my daughters what’s wrong or right. Methods which include personal development & accountability, having conversations, setting expectations for proper conduct, and simply giving them a voice.
The young ladies many of you know are a product of this upbringing.
Yes, I spared the rod.
Those of you that have met my daughters can attest to their character and attitude.
Those of you that have been around them for longer periods of time can attest to the fact they are not putting on an act to impress anyone.
A new legacy begins with me.
His generation and those prior beats anything and anyone that did not bend to their whim. They slapped they wives. They slapped their kids. They slapped their pets.
Those were old time where they knew no better. This is how every man before them managed their homes.
We’ve come a long way. There are much more effective manners of parenting. At least this is what I believe.
But it does require work and discipline. Although not the discipline of years past.
It requires actual conversations and accountability. As a leader of our homes, it requires us to be better men. Better fathers. Better partners.
It is rather easy to be leader who anyone will follow by your actions and not just by your words. It is rather easy to have conversations with my daughters and ask them to do things when they see that I am doing those same things.
If you must beat a young human being to get them to follow instructions, I suggest that you may have a bigger problem than their insubordination at that moment.
A new legacy begins with me.
_teevee
Further reading on this topic from a better writer:
Lashes and Legacies: Understanding the Truth About Whoopings
http://allvalid.com/shanepaulneil/lashes-and-legacies-understanding-the-truth-about-whoopings/
