I peaked in 3rd grade.
I’ve been trying to get back to that place ever since. No luck.
That was my first year without my ESL classmates. Honestly, I didn’t even know I was in ESL until recently. Apparently it was time for me to move on.
I was surrounded by nothing but diverse, English-speaking kids. Pretty neat.
That year I had all E’s on my report card. E for Excellent. I did that.
I specifically remember taking the ITBS test and crushing it. How do I know I crushed it? Because Mrs. Webb told me so. She pulled me aside.
“You see this right here, Natividad… you’re in the 99th percentile.”
“What does that mean?”
“It means that out of 100 kids who took this test, only one scored higher than you.”
(Said another way, I was a on 1%er.
“Am I smart?”
“Of course you are. You’re a very sharp young man, Natividad.”
WHOOOOA.
That same year, I won a computer contest where all the grades competed. Mr. Davis gave me the award at the end of the year and said: “Upper graders, you let this little skinny 3rd grader beat you?”
I soaked all of it in. Every single drop.
Because up until that year, I was convinced I was stupid.
My parents told me so. Every day. Several times a day.
Eres pendejo. No sirves pa nada. Pa que te mandamos a la escuela pa que seas tan pendejo?
I had absorbed it as my truth. Why wouldn’t I? They’re my parents. They wouldn’t lie to me.
I don’t think they knew what they were doing. I also believe they thought they were toughening me up. Hardening me. At least that’s the story I tell now.
Turns out I was a very smart kid.
That year, that teacher, and those E’s changed my opinion of myself.
Nobody could tell me nothing. Not even my parents.
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