On Becoming a Better Man, Human, and Father
As an immigrant kid with almost no English skills, my pencil and paper allowed me to create a world where all the characters spoke my language. In my mind, I found refuge. An old friend told me he had to drag me out of the house to play. As the years passed, I mastered the English language and continued developing my drawing chops. I imagine I must have put in thousands of hours. Then I...
"You don't get what you deserve in life; you get what you negotiate."
I said this to my oldest child in a conversation about her photography business. If you don't feel that you're getting paid enough, negotiate for a better rate next time.
Sometimes it may seem that you are wasting your life away, and you're going nowhere fast.
Most of my family and friends felt this way about me when I was younger. They thought I had so many talents that weren't being leveraged by working in a grocery store.
They weren't wrong. But they weren't right either.
"Hey! Hey! Hey baby!"
I'm witnessing my big girl get "hit on" for the first time in real-time.
We had arrived at the restaurant to eat dinner hours earlier. While we're patiently waiting in the car, I see another car park beside us slowly.
I'm writing this from Florida after a hellavu drive across the south.
We drove almost 12 hours and arrived late last night. We couldn't find anywhere to eat because "everyone in Florida" must be hungry at the same time.
My oldest daughter looked sad, exhausted, and overwhelmed, so I asked: Baby, what's on your mind?
She listed a ton of tasks and obligations that were stressing her out.
Oh? This would be a perfect time to flex my daddy mentoring muscles and share one of my favorite exercises.
The brain dump.
I hate my father. On most days, I just can't understand him. On other days I can't stand him. Today is much worse, and I have to get to school.
Let me explain. It's my responsibility to get the trash to the front of the house every Monday and Thursday morning for the trashmen to pick up. It's a simple job except for the fact that the neighborhood cats and dogs rip the bags every time.
Despite not being a "morning person," I've been waking up at 5am for three years.
The feeling of waking up and getting a lot of work done made me happy and accomplished. I could meditate, read, write, study, or get started on significant projects with few distractions.
Despite not being a "morning person," I've been waking up at 5am for three years.
The feeling of waking up and getting a lot of work done made me happy and accomplished. I could meditate, read, write, study, or get started on significant projects with few distractions.
Slut. Ugly. Bitch. Wetback. Skinny. Fat. Stupid. Smartass. Arrogant.
What would they be called? What words would be used to insult my baby girls or make them feel "less than"?
I don't have all the answers; I just have my stories.
I have no parenting degrees or any real-world certifications from some institution of high knowledge. Some might say I'm full of shit. But my life is real and full of experiences.
Todas mis historias y memorias de me niñez están codificadas en español.
Translation: All my stories and memories from my childhood are coded in Spanish.
On Becoming a Better Man, Human, and Father