I am a fantastic human being. Bold thing to say? Maybe. But I believe it now more than ever.
I’m a good friend. Could I be better? Absolutely.
If I call you my friend, you’ll feel loved, supported, and encouraged. If you hurt me, I will forgive you. I make an effort to understand people—their circumstances, their struggles.
That doesn’t mean I’ll forget. I’ll be more careful. Trust takes time to rebuild. Maybe we’ll get back to where we were. Maybe not.
A lot of bad things have happened to me in life. So many.
But age and perspective have taught me that most people aren’t inherently bad. They are shaped by the worlds they were raised in. Our communities, cultures, and histories mold us more than we realize.
So, I try to understand:
- What was the political climate when they grew up?
- What was their religious upbringing?
- What was the family hierarchy and gender roles in their home?
- What economic realities shaped their prime years?
- How did they consume information and entertainment?
- Did they grow up in a small town or a big city?
- It’s a lot to consider. But when I do, I see why people act out in ways that are rude, hateful, or hurtful.
Now, when it comes to forgiving myself—that’s a different beast.
I seem determined to punish myself, as if being harsh will finally make me learn my lesson.
But what if I extended the same grace and love to my younger self that I offer others?
That’s a much harder process.
Over time, I’ve learned to forgive myself.
“If I knew better, I’d do better.”
And I didn’t always know better.
My younger self—at every stage—wanted to do better. But without knowledge or wisdom, what else could I do?
I made mistakes. I hurt others. I hurt myself.
Sometimes I was just naive. I couldn’t imagine true evil in the world—until I saw it firsthand and got crushed in the process.
Forgiving myself? That has taken time. But it’s worth it. Now, I can live with all the wisdom I’ve collected along the way.
I love myself. And I deserve my own empathy.
How about you?
Have you struggled to forgive yourself?
