To me, confidence is a superpower, and I believe virtually all children have it at birth. My kids aren’t that special. They’re tiny squishy organisms with no idea what they can and can’t do.
The world teaches them differently, as it should. As parents, it’s also our job to give them some guardrails.
My approach with my daughters has been to supercharge and nurture that innate confidence. I wanted them to feel that they could do anything by putting them in situations to learn, fail and grow early in their childhood. At times I even got them coaches to help them refine their skills which gave them even more confidence.
I knew that at some point, others would probably feel that my kids were arrogant.
Have you ever noticed that every person in history who has accomplished something significant was called arrogant by their peers?
I’ve learned that arrogance is the story that others create in their minds.
How the hell do we know where the line exists between confidence and overconfidence? Screw that. I couldn’t have my girls playing small to make others feel comfortable.
However, I didn’t want my kids to be obnoxious little jerks either. That’s not cool.
I felt that it would be easier to grow their self-assurance and then teach them to be humble, respectful, and appreciative.
The more common approach is to insist that they be humble, stay in their lane, don’t make waves, and don’t make others feel bad. Then magically, they should show up with confidence in all contexts in life.
I’m damn near 50 and finally in a place where I feel confident in my skin and my skills. It’s only taken me all my life to find that superpower buried inside of me.
I chose to raise my daughters differently and remind them never to play small.